Is it unemployment?

The cost of living in Monase village is too high so young girls and women turn to sex work to make a living, survive and provide for the family, some are just looking for easy money. As the village is near a town they find it easy to catch good paying clients.

Young girls and women who turn to sex work normally come from very poor families. They come from families that have many children, where there are economic problems where the demand is too high, children want clothing, food, to pay school fees and everything that is needed for a family to survive. Some of the families are fatherless, and the burden of financial responsibility rests solely with the mother. Also, there are women and girls from families who are forced to beg in order to survive. Some go for it simply because they were disappointed in their love lives or just see pleasure in it. Most of these women are not or partially educated and cannot find jobs easily.

Majority of their clients are married man who are very rich and are capable of bringing along lots and lots of money and expensive cell phones in exchange for sex to younger girls. They say this group bring them the services that their wives or girlfriends cannot provide. They can do things that real women would not put up with to them.

Apart from rich married man, the girls seem to be waiting for every truck that passes through the village from neighbouring countries to deliver goods to the city or to other countries. They say these men can pay them well. There are also older women who buy younger boys to give them pleasure that they can’t find from their husbands.

Bars, clubs and street corners to mention but a few in the village have become sex shops. This is where men and women, boys and girls meet to select their choices. At times these bring fights, insults or even death as they fight over their selections. If a man buys a woman a drink he seems to be saying ‘I am going to make love to you today ‘and no strings attached. That’s part of life, everything is just normal to them.

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Divorce

A divorce is a legal break up for a married couple. Most of the time it affect children more than anyone else in the family as they try to battle around with the new situation, that is, which side to take mother or father. There are different reasons which may cause divorce. A few of them are as follows:

Cheating

At least 80% of married men and women do cheat on their relationships. This in turn may end up in separation then divorce. People especially men have a feeling that if they do not keep a mistress they are not real men. So they will go around looking for young girls who can keep them company and in return give them expensive gifts. This habit might go from bad to worse, where a man will end up moving out of their matrimonial homes to live with those young girls. As a result some women will run around with young men as the husband may not be able to satisfy her needs. In this era of HIV and AIDs people should cut the chain as the ARVs are very expensive especially in developing countries. They should try by all means to avoid different kinds of sexually transmitted diseases.

Forced marriages

Most parents nowadays force their daughters into unwanted marriages which soon result in divorce. Sometimes the parents force their daughters because they are very poor or want to reduce their big families. That’s where abuse start because there is nothing that connects the two. They will only stand the insults and beating for a certain number of years and turn to bad things like prostitution to cover up for the money paid to their parents to set themselves free.

Interference of the in laws

The in-laws, most of the time from the man’s side may contribute a lot in divorces as is their culture that everything that is done in the couple’s family is done by their son. They will in turn make sure that the husband no longer supports his family by telling him all sorts of lies that will divert his mind totally from his family. They have a feeling the woman has come to milk the man and move back to her parents’ family. In laws should try by all means to stop poking their noses on their children relationships to avoid hurting their feelings.

Culture

Different cultures may cause divorce as married couple may not understand each other’s tradition well. For example if a man’s family belief in the ancestors then he will want his wife to join him in praying dead people’s spirits for healing or wealth. If she fails it will lead to a quarrel, insults or fights which may lead to divorce. Before marriage people should make sure that they understand one’s culture very well to avoid disappointment.

Education

Another thing is the educational status, if one of the couple is more educated than the other he/she might think is superior to his significant other. This over confidence will ruin the whole relationship, and then follows divorce. Having a decent job doesn’t mean you forget who you are and where you come from. Know that your partner is the one who is going to take care of you in times of need.

One can say divorce is a bad thing especially for the kids so people should be encouraged to see marriage counsellors or church ministers before they can decide on what to do. They should be taught the dos and the don’ts of staying together as a couple. Set their own rules and live by them and also learn to control their feeling whenever they are tempted.